Homesick

Tomorrow will be 7 weeks since we left Minneapolis. This past week I have been in a funk and this morning I finally voiced that I wish we could go home. Drew laughed and gave me a big hug and said "It's too early to start that yet". Then Levi piped up and said "Remember Mom, we were warned that 6 weeks is when it gets hard." I'm so glad someone around here has a memory. It's true, there have been trials of various kinds all along but this week I have just wanted to be finished. Ellie is feeling homesick too. Drew hasn't voiced it in the same way but he does feel a bit "lost" now that the main project he was working on is done. Levi has been sick all week too so that hasn't been good. Kyle is pretty easy going and takes each day in stride, however, I have noticed he is not as patient with his family lately as he can be. It helped yesterday to go to Kumbo and do something different but when I woke this morning I still was longing for home. As I'm typing this, I'm encouraged knowing that I can be completely honest and my friends will be supporting us in prayer. You can not imagine what a blessing it is to know that we are not alone, we appreciate your kind words and mostly your prayers. Thank you so much!

Now that I have that off my chest, I am really excited to see what God has in store for us these next few weeks. Once we get over this hump, I believe what is ahead will be some of the deepest parts of this whole trip. I am anticipating deeper relationships, greater understanding and renewed hope... as well as a few more dead mice.

I noticed our home church is singing this song this coming weekend - the words are so good:

You Never Let Go by Matt Redmon
Even though I walk, through the valley, of the shadow of death,
your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught, in the middle, of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back I know you are near.

And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me,
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm,
Oh, no, you never let go, every high and every low,
oh, no, you never let go, Lord you never let go of me!

And I can see the light, that is coming, for the heart that holds on,
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end, to these troubles, but until that day comes,
We'll live to know you here on the earth.

And I can see the light, that is coming for the heart that holds on,
And I can see an end to these troubles, but until that day comes,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU, STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU!!!

Outside My Comfort Zone

Now that the weather is getting colder and we actually have a bit of snow on the ground, I find all I want to do is stay in my nice cozy house.  I'm actually a home body all year round but especially in the winter.  The past few weeks have been busy ones for our family and I have had to leave my cocoon almost every evening.  This weekend I was finally able to put on my comfy cloths and just hang out with no where to go - it was wonderful!

This morning the kids and I will be heading over to Heppner's Legacy, to the new store to help paint.  Painting is not my favorite thing, probably because I have done quite a bit of it this year.  I am excited to go because Nancy and Brad are such giving people, it makes me  want to give back to them.  Deep down I would much rather stay in my pajamas all day, turn the fireplace on and read a good book.  Laziness is my flesh in full power.  The other thing that draws me is being around people that I enjoy.  It will be a fun day with lots of hands to get things done.  That's probably what draws me to my own home too, the people I live with are some of my favorite people.

So yesterday I was thinking about how much I like to stay home and it hit me - WHY would I ever want to go to Africa when I can barely stand to leave my house?  That is a very good question.  One answer to that is that I want to go wherever God asks me to, even if it's uncomfortable.  I want to be uncomfortable.  I know that when I am outside of my cozy cocoon, I need God so much more and I'm so much more aware of all that He is doing around me and through me.  The other part of going to Africa that makes it doable is the fact that my family is going with me.  My physical house may be a comfort and a place of refuge for me but really it's the people in it that make it that.  Ultimately God is my refuge and my strength and He promises to be with me wherever I go.

Psalm 91:1-2
"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare of the Lord;
He alone is my refuge,
my place of safety;
He is my God, and I am trusting Him."