We Made It!

Thursday morning at 445am our family walked out our front door on the way to the airport.  Arriving at MSP airport, we were met by a stubborn UA employee who did not want to even consider that she could be wrong and we might actually be allowed 2 bags each.  I asked for a manager but she was the manager, so I paid the $350 and we were on our way.  I offered to pray for her because it seemed she was having a rough day but she refused.  We did talk to the travel agent and they are taking care of the bill problem, since it was booked under a special code for a contract with Wycliffe Associates.  We then flew to Chicago O'Hare airport, where the most exciting thing was their cool toilets.  You wave your hand over the back of the toilet and it automatically puts a clean plastic sheet around the toilet lid - awesome!  After hanging out there for a few hours we hopped on a plane to Newark, NJ - this is where my immediate family met 4 other girls from our team.  One of the ladies asked Levi how he liked his first time flying and he replied "It was pretty good, except I would have liked more leg room."  We thought that was pretty funny since he is only 4' 11''!  On this flight I sat by a woman who I thought looked familiar.  After talking a bit, I found out she is a missionary with Wycliffe in Papau New Guinea.  I felt like this was a divine appointment and peppered her with questions about the mission field.  I wanted to know how she KNEW that this is what she was called to do.  We had a great time and it turned out that I had seen her on one of the training sites for Wycliffe that I had been looking at in preparation for our trip.   Finally after flying all night, and watching free movies and getting lots of food (highlights for the kids) in a really nice plane we arrived in Brussels Belgium where we connected with the rest of our team (7 more members).  Everyone was pretty beat at that point so the layover was spent just hanging out with people napping in all kinds of places.  The last leg of our trip brought us to Yaounde', Cameroon where we arrived in time for a late supper here on Friday evening at the Wycliffe training sight.  There were a few other people we met along the way who are also making their way to Cameroon to do different missions work.  It has been a long day and I am beat - just thought I would update everyone that we are all okay.  EVERY SINGLE piece of luggage made it here!!! Praise God - My family alone had 20 pieces.  We have so many tools and gifts for people that couldn't be replaced - we couldn't be happier.  The kids enjoyed traveling... the rest of us endured it.  Tomorrow morning we have an orientation and can spend the day hanging out here in Yaounde' before we leave to go to Ndu.  That will be another adventure since it takes 2 days to drive there:)  We were surprised to be met at the airport by our friends Shelley and Gaston Kingue and their boys - they have been in another country in Africa and we did not think we would get to see them.  Everyone seems to be in good spirits.  I will be feeling better once I have my luggage repacked.  We mixed up everything just in case all the luggage didn't make it, then we would at least have something for all of us.  Now I just want to have all my things in one place.  You should have seen our van loaded with all our bags - Crazy!

This is it

Last year at Faithwalkers (December 27-30, 2010), I felt a desire to do something BIG and to see God work in my family.  I wanted to get out of the security of my own little world and do something completely different with my family.  This caused me to spend more time seeking God and asking Him for direction.  On February 3rd, 2011 - God put it on my heart to pursue going to Africa with our family.  He didn't speak audibly to me but it was the closest thing I have experienced of "hearing" God.  My husband and kids came together in prayer with me to see what God would have us do.  11 months ago we started our journey together in prayer, asking God to provide all that we would need to go to Africa, if this was truly HIS desire and plan for our family.  I have been a Christian for years and to be honest this is the most clear direction I have ever had from God.  I don't know why, but God doesn't always give us such a clear vision in all things He is leading us to do.  Even though there were days of waiting within this past 11 months, it all has come together EXTREMELY fast.  God must have amazing things in store for us!

Tomorrow, the 5 of us will leave for Cameroon, Africa, and we will finally get to see what God has been preparing us for.  Thank you so much for your prayers for us.  We will try to keep you posted as much as possible.

To Be a Faith Walker

Psalm 145:4 -7
"Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts.
I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.
your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; I will proclaim your greatness.
Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness; they will sing with JOY of your righteousness."

These verses get me excited.  I think David was a blogger before there was such a term - his words are thought provoking and transparent.  I get excited about these verses because God is doing such an amazing thing with my family - I want to proclaim HIS greatness!  This past year has been a journey:  seeing God's provision, His faithfulness, His willingness to use my family with all our imperfections.  My kids will be telling this story to their children someday and encouraging them to step out and do whatever God puts on their hearts.

Last year, friends of ours donated $1000 for my family and I to attend Faithwalkers in Omaha, Nebraska (December 27-31).  We had a fun time but the whole time I struggled with the idea that experiencing "Faithwalkers" was the peak to some in their Christian faith.  Every year families look forward to this BIG event.  They have high expectations and will probably walk away feeling spiritually pumped after listening to great worship music and inspiring speakers.  Some people do walk away changed people and they do something with that change.  They may do something outside their comfort zone, like go on a mission trip or they may commit to being a spiritual leader in their family, or serve with Kids Against Hunger.  I also believe that quite a few will just go back to their busy lives, the experience of Faithwalkers will be just a pleasant memory.  Faithwalkers to some is just a social event, that in many ways pulls their families apart in several directions rather than bonding them with a common purpose.  To some, Faithwalkers is their "thing" that they are doing for God - they have to take time off work, pay money for a hotel and add one more thing to their busy schedules - to them, this is sacrifice enough.  To me, Faithwalkers was just the trailer to a bigger adventure of living for Christ.  It was that inner struggle and crying out to God for direction during my time at Faithwalkers that first started pulling me back to Africa.  The fact that we are leaving in just 10 days is an amazing testimony to God's goodness.  I want my kids to be excited and notice what God is doing in us and through us.  I want them to be doing God's will and looking forward to the next adventure He sends us on - willing to do His will.

  There is nothing in itself wrong with going to Faithwalkers, we will hopefully go again.  I just think that if attending a conference is all my faith and living for Christ amounts to, it's not worth it.  I would much rather be living out my faith on a daily basis, sold out for Christ, even if that means I never have time to attend another Faithwalkers convention.  Faithwalkers is not a bad thing, but for me and my family I want it to be a time of celebration of what God is doing in US.  I don't want to just go and listen to other people talking about what living for Christ can look like.

My prayer for my friends attending Faithwalkers this week is that they will be forever changed - and their life will no longer be their own.  That they will not be looking at this time as a social event but that their eyes would be "fixed on Jesus".  God has changed my life and grown my faith this year, and it all began with a seed of discontent that was fanned into flame at Faithwalkers 2010.

Teen House Church

Last night we had a whole bunch of teens in the house for Teen House Church (THC).  As I looked around our crowded basement I was so impressed with the people involved in my kids lives.  Our THC rotates between homes and is lead by the Dads of the teens who attend.  We also have a young couple that lead THC as a whole, getting to know the kids, challenging them, praying for them and being consistent role models in the lives of the youth of our church.  Joe is an amazing man, he recently finished law school and is now a lawyer.  He is an extremely intelligent man.  I admire the fact that despite having to study hard while he was in school, he put memorizing the Bible as a higher priority.  I love how he shows these kids that God honors and blesses us when we put Him first.  Joe's wife Katie is as sweet as they come and makes everyone feel as if they were her best friend.  She is so quick to share her story of straying off the straight and narrow path, and the fact that God rescued her.  They are both so real and transparent, not sugar coating life in any way.  I'm so thankful my kids have a chance to see up close and personal the results of living for Christ in people outside of our immediate family.

The other thing that struck me last night was the fact that 8 Dads gave up their Saturday evening to spend with a bunch of teens.  The Dads rotate who is teaching, if you are hosting the teen group then you are teaching.  All of these men have so much to offer in the way of their unique experiences.  It would be easy to just opt out of coming to THC when it isn't your turn to share, but rarely do they choose not to come.  Besides teaching when it is their turn, they help prepare the communion cups, play bongo drums during worship, serve by cleaning, lead in prayer or just hang out and have fun getting to know the friends of their children.   The kids don't seem embarrassed or annoyed that their parents are here with them.  To most of the teens it's quite normal to have a conversation with any of the parents in attendance.  It's encouraging to me as a Mom to know that my kids have a safe environment with many caring adults that they could talk to if they wanted or needed.

One other important feature that makes the THC a success is the fact that the teens really do own this time.  Each week 2 different teens will share from their own personal quiet times about what God is showing them.  Ellie shared this week about reading a verse that said to pray 7 times a day because that is more important than the law.  This challenged her to put God first and to pause several times a day to pray, also to read her Bible even before tackling her school work.  Kyle shared about reading in Revelation where it's talking about things to expect in heaven, like getting a new name.  He thought this was really cool and looked forward to these benefits of heaven, but as he was reading he noticed that all these things came to those who were "conquerors".  To be a conqueror requires more that just sitting around letting life go by, it requires action.  He shared how this challenged him and hopefully that challenged others who were listening to his thoughts.  There are quite a few kids that show up so after worshiping and breaking bread together they have a chance to go into "tiny" groups to share prayer requests on a more intimate level.  These smaller groups are lead by some of the older teens, girls in separate groups from the boys.  I love that the relationships built here are across all ages.

Relationships is really the key feature in the THC and how it is structured.  A meal is served each time they meet,  what better way to fellowship then over food.  There is a time for worship, with a few of the teens leading singing and playing guitar.   There are 30 + teens crammed into a small space, singing praises, sharing communion and reminding us of the ultimate relationship we are needing with God.  The families are in relationship with each other and have an interest in encouraging each others kids in their walk with the Lord.  When the "official" youth group time is over, it's not uncommon for everyone to just stick around and play games or watch a movie.  These are the people we do life with, and what a blessing they are.

What About School?

Probably the most frequent question I get asked concerning our trip to Africa is "What about school?"  It's a fair question and looks different depending on who it is coming from.  We are a homeschooling family but even that does not look the same in every family.  Some may take classes online, we don't.  Some are very relaxed and don't follow any type of curriculum, we follow more than one.  Some take classes through a co-op of families, we do.  There is freedom in our decisions on how to teach our kids, but in many ways I feel a great pressure in that freedom.  I do feel like I have "eyes" watching me at times and there is a pressure to some degree of caring what others think (by this I mean extended family or friends that don't homeschool).  I would say my biggest reason for the pressure I feel is that I don't want to fail my kids.  I don't want them to be ill prepared for life or finding a decent career path using the skills and talents God has given them.  I have one shot at this, there are no "do overs".

Originally, when I thought of going to Africa, I did think that we would just bring our work with us.  My reasoning is that I didn't want to get behind on anything.  After talking to a friend that had gone with her family on the mission field for an extended time, she helped me see it differently.  I believe her comment was, "Why would you want to taint your child's experience by bringing their 'American' school work with them?  They would miss so much."  Giving that some thought, I realized she was right in many ways and I needed to come up with a plan.

We started our basic school work several weeks early and I had each of my kids test out of the first few chapters of review in their math books.  Our co-op has been wonderful and the kid will be able to jump in the middle of their subjects when we return.  For their Enviromental Science class they will be doing a project on what they learned in Cameroon with regard to Enviro Science.  As a family we love to read aloud, or individually, so we will have a Kindle full of books as well as the real deal.  Math will be real life stuff like dealing with conversions, buying things from market, figuring travel time and working through real life construction puzzles with their Dad.   We will have a front row seat on our African culture class.  French is spoken in parts of Cameroon so they will have a chance to put their French into practice.  They will learn about Bible translation and the effects of illiteracy and how they can help.  They will learn compassion and mercy that would never come from seeing a documentary or reading about poverty.  Their one assignment that they will all have to do is to keep a journal of our trip so they can document it through their own eyes.

My hope is that all of us will walk away forever changed from this experience, but especially my children.  I hope that they come home with a vision for how God can use their lives.  My wish would be for them to work hard at the tasks put before them and the school that must happen to reach their goal.  I would want for them to see school as essential steps to live a bigger life with purpose and not just a time to do the bare minimum.  They do not need to wait until they are adults to make a difference in this world, they can begin today.

I think the answer I got from our travel nurse is the one I liked the best.  When I told her we were not bringing our regular school books with us, she responded "Oh, field work, sounds good!"

Provision My Way

Yesterday I shared how God has been providing for us in some amazing ways over the years, but more specifically leading up to our trip to Africa.  I am an idea person, so when we first started realizing just how much this trip would cost, my mind started thinking of different ways to make it happen.

Earlier this year "Minute to Win It" was in town looking for people to be on their show.  We don't even watch the show usually because it is on Wednesday nights and we are at AWANA on Wednesday nights.  A few times we have caught the end of the show or watched it on some of the free Wednesday nights we had.  If you have never seen the show, the contestants do all kinds of crazy games/competitions and each time they successfully complete the challenge they move up a level.  Each challenge has a dollar amount and you can win lots and lots of money.  When I heard about the local auditions I shot them an email.  For whatever reason, I got a reply email with an invitation to audition with my family and a VIP pass so we could move to the head of the line.  I was so excited and completely sure that God was going to let us get on the show.  I figured we could give God glory since we had a good reason for wanting the money.  It would also be a quick and easy way to have all the funds we needed and maybe some leftover too.  I liked the idea of an easy solution to our money dilemma.

Things got crazy around here for a while.  We checked out the "Minute to Win It" web site for all the different challenges that had been done.  We set up stations so we could practice all the different games.  I have to admit, I was terrible at all of them.  I was too impatient to bounce a pencil in a cup or get a cookie from my forehead to my mouth.  I wanted to get on the show because it sounded like an easy way to get to Africa but I really didn't want to practice so that I would be ready.  Thankfully, my kids were great at almost every challenge they tried. Although they were having trouble getting a playing card to lodge itself into a watermelon by throwing it from 3 feet away.  I'm still finding cards in random places in my basement.  I was feeling a little nervous because we wanted to be good examples since we were using our money for missions.  All the competition brought out some pretty ugly parts of our character and we hadn't even left our home.  We laughed a lot too as we stacked Oreos on our foreheads and did other crazy stunts.  We put everything else on hold as we worked on our training, not knowing exactly what would be expected of us at the auditions.

The day of the auditions finally arrived and we headed out to the furniture store where auditions were being held.  Our 10 page application was all filled out and we had our matching shirts to boot.  The store was overflowing with people and once inside the door the line of contestant hopefuls wound and wound throughout the store, they would have a long wait ahead of them.  With our pass we awkwardly walked past all these staring eyes to the front of the line.  Everyone else had only one page applications so we felt pretty good about our chances.  The "audition" was over in about 30 seconds and we were walking out the door.  That was very anti-climatic but we were all so thankful that we were not part of the crowd waiting all day in line to have the same experience.We never heard from "Minute to Win It" again.  All that practicing for nothing except to annoy me whenever I find another ping pong ball, or card, or cup with holes in it, in a cupboard or under furniture.  It was kind of a waste of time in the end.

Thinking about that experience showed me just how easy it is to get our eyes off of what God intends for us and that which is fun or will make life easy.  I wanted to "win big" for a good cause but in doing so I would have missed so much.  The people who have been praying for us for months probably wouldn't be, since most of these people knew what we were doing from our support letter.  Our family has been so touched by the sense of community we have had knowing people are investing in us on our journey, both financially and through prayer.  Practicing for "Minute to Win It" would not have prepared us for what we will be doing in Africa.  However, working on remodeling the house that we helped "flip" was great preparation for all of us (since we will be doing construction projects).   We have had lots of opportunity to work together as a team and support one another.  Our character has grown as we have had to work harder than we ever have before and persevere to the end.

"God's ways are higher than our ways" and I've found that to be true.  We are winners!  My faith has grown leaps and bounds this year as I've seen first hand God's faithfulness.  My kids wanted to be on "Minute to Win It" because they have never been on an airplane.  They will get to be on an airplane for a VERY long time and God used our hard work, along with big and small gifts and lots of prayer from our friends.

40 days to Africa

I woke up this morning to the realization that we will be boarding our plane in just 40 days.  I'm sure there is some significance to this day.  I feel like I should "do" something for the next 40 days - exercise, fast, pray...something spiritual or good.  I thought about "40 days to lose my blubber", but I hear African people think it's good to be fat.  It might not be true but it sounds good to me.  I want Drew to get the most respect he can for his "healthy" wife so I will forgo the diet.  We could use 40 days of prayer, so feel free to pray for us.   We have so much going on during the next 40 days, I could just call it "40 days of Freaking Out".  Again, prayer would be good.

All kidding aside, 40 is a significant number in many ways.  I googled "40 days" and there were 159,000,000,000 sites to choose from, many of these were spiritual in nature.  For some reason, God used 40 days in many of the events that happened throughout the Bible.   Many of those events were tied to times of trial and testing.  Think of Noah, after obeying God and building the ark, it rained for 40 days.  I would guess that 40 days was not a time of rejoicing (even though his family was saved), but rather a time of adjusting and grieving the loss of the life they knew.  The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. This happened after their spies checked out Canaan (the land flowing with milk and honey) for 40 days and were too fearful to trust God.  Jesus was tested in the wilderness for 40 days at the beginning of his ministry.  Jesus appeared to people for 40 days after his resurrection, a time of great confusion to the early Christians.   There are many more examples but I think you get the idea.  40 days was a good amount of time to get people's attention...and 40 years would definitely get a point across.

Many people today celebrate the Advent season, which was originally 40 days.  Advent is the weeks leading up to Christmas that is a time of reflecting on the events leading up to the first Christmas.  It's a time of getting our eyes off of our selfish desires and focusing on others.   As a family we have followed different Advent reading plans over the years.  The time leading up to Christmas takes on a deeper meaning and gives us a greater appreciation for the significance of the birth of Jesus.  It wasn't just a random event but was foretold throughout the Old Testament.   We anticipate Christmas morning with excitement, not just on getting present, but the realization that WHO we live for was born on this day.  If it were not for the personal relationship I have with Jesus, I would have no desire to even go to Africa.

The season of Lent is the 40 days leading up to the death and resurrection of Christ.  Some use this time to  give up something or let go.  I like the idea of that as we are leading up to our trip.  I want to use these next 40 days to prepare my heart for all that God has in store for our family.  I also want to begin the process of "letting go".  Letting go of my rights, my possessions and my expectations.  This last week has been a time of struggle for me and I feel like I am in a battle.  I want to use this time to prepare for a continued battle, one where I am not in my familiar surroundings.

 Even though I know the battle will be happening, I am excited because I am not in this battle alone.  I also know that you can have joy in the middle of the hardest times.  I am looking forward with JOY to our time in Africa.  Starting today, I am choosing to have "40 days of Joy".

  

A Blog about Blogging

Originally I wanted to blog because so many people had been asking how I would communicate while we were in Africa.  I thought I should get the hang of it before leaving since I would probably have more time and electricity to do that here in MN.  Occasionally I would read other blogs but I didn't actually follow any one blogger, I just read what happened to come across my path.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

 The more I blog the more I find myself interested in what others are blogging about.  I have one friend that has a blog a day.  I have no idea how she can come up with something interesting every day but somehow she does.  I sometimes have to wait until the end of the day to see what she has to say because she is waiting for a burst of inspiration but she never fails me.  Her mind is as random as mine so you never know what you will get.  She inspires me with her writing because I can see how some seemingly irrelevant thing will resonate with me, maybe my blog is doing the same to others.

Blogging is a little like scrapbooking but with words.  When I first start scrapbooking, I would see everything I did in life through the lens of a camera and what that would look like on a page.  Now as things happen in my day, I jot myself a note of what's happening if I think it might be blogger worthy at some point.   It does become a bit obsessive at times.  I can focus too much on how many people have read certain articles or if anyone bothered.  Sometimes I think I have something really important to share and just a few people take note.  I wonder what it is that will draw their attention, and laugh when it is "deep" things like toilets around the world.  I shared thoughts about missing my Mom, since I know that many of my friends have also lost their Moms and could relate to the feelings that I was having that day.  I guess that was too deep of a subject because very few even read it and the ones that did probably thought I was depressed or something.  Grief is weird, it shows up occasionally when you aren't expecting it and I chose to expose myself in hopes that it would encourage even one person going through a similar time.

The thing that has surprised me the most is how many people have told me certain things I have written have touched them or encouraged them.  I shouldn't be surprised because I have been encouraged by others in the same way.  I'm surprised sometimes by how much I have in common with events from other peoples lives.  I have had people comment on that about my blogs too, that they have been through the same thing or felt the same way or wanted to do the same thing that my family is doing or has done.  It's when I am the most transparent about myself that what I say resonates the most with a reader.  It's scary at times to be truly transparent and exposed.  I run the risk of judgement or being misunderstood by someone who is only getting a small glimpse into my life.  I think of that when I am reading other blogs, that I am just getting one snap shot and not read too much into that little piece of their life.

So fellow bloggers, keep up the good work!  Your words have encouraged me, they have made me laugh. Your words have given me food for thought as well as ideas for actual food/menu plans.  You have shared God's Word when I have needed it. You have given me fresh ideas and insight into my homeschool day.   You have reminded me of all I have to be thankful for and blogging has given me a place to share that.

Outside My Comfort Zone

Now that the weather is getting colder and we actually have a bit of snow on the ground, I find all I want to do is stay in my nice cozy house.  I'm actually a home body all year round but especially in the winter.  The past few weeks have been busy ones for our family and I have had to leave my cocoon almost every evening.  This weekend I was finally able to put on my comfy cloths and just hang out with no where to go - it was wonderful!

This morning the kids and I will be heading over to Heppner's Legacy, to the new store to help paint.  Painting is not my favorite thing, probably because I have done quite a bit of it this year.  I am excited to go because Nancy and Brad are such giving people, it makes me  want to give back to them.  Deep down I would much rather stay in my pajamas all day, turn the fireplace on and read a good book.  Laziness is my flesh in full power.  The other thing that draws me is being around people that I enjoy.  It will be a fun day with lots of hands to get things done.  That's probably what draws me to my own home too, the people I live with are some of my favorite people.

So yesterday I was thinking about how much I like to stay home and it hit me - WHY would I ever want to go to Africa when I can barely stand to leave my house?  That is a very good question.  One answer to that is that I want to go wherever God asks me to, even if it's uncomfortable.  I want to be uncomfortable.  I know that when I am outside of my cozy cocoon, I need God so much more and I'm so much more aware of all that He is doing around me and through me.  The other part of going to Africa that makes it doable is the fact that my family is going with me.  My physical house may be a comfort and a place of refuge for me but really it's the people in it that make it that.  Ultimately God is my refuge and my strength and He promises to be with me wherever I go.

Psalm 91:1-2
"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare of the Lord;
He alone is my refuge,
my place of safety;
He is my God, and I am trusting Him."

Unanswered prayers

Those of you who have been friends with us for years know about our adoption journey that never happened.  November is National Adoption month, so each year I am reminded that what I thought was God's plan for our family didn't happen the way the I had anticipated.  I know that had we adopted we probably would not be going on this extended trip to Africa with our kids.  I'm not "happy" that we did not adopt so that I can give our kids this amazing opportunity.  We all had looked forward to having a bigger family and I know that 'adoption' would have been an amazing opportunity had God given us that chance.  I trust that God will use me to help the orphans in whatever way I can and that his way is perfect.

  Actually it was difficult at first to believe that we would be able to go to Africa together.  Circumstances alone made me doubt that we would ever be able to come up with the money that is needed.  I at one point had believed so strongly that God would want us to adopt children.  When it didn't happen, it left me wondering if I had heard from him at all.  I wanted to have the faith that God would provide a way to go to Cameroon but at the same time I felt uncertain based on the past.  I may never know why God chose to close doors on what we thought was his will, but I do not regret that we took the steps of obedience in trying to reach that goal.


Back in 2006, Drew and I had attended an adoption informational meeting thinking we would love to adopt internationally.  Well, to be honest, I wanted to adopt internationally.  Drew was along to get information and hadn't given it too much thought.  Ever since I was young I had been drawn to other cultures.  Drew and I had been to Mexico, Honduras, Dominican Republic and Africa and the children were always the thing that impacted me the most.  After our informational meeting that evening in January 2006, I saw my husband gain a new passion for the orphans.  I knew it was serious when he went home and wrote more than a page in his journal.  We both believed that we would one day be the parents of a child from another country.  As we prayed about it, the biggest decision was what agency to go through.  I searched the internet and asked everyone I knew who had adopted internationally.  International adoption is very expensive but we were doing pretty well at the time and knew that God would provide for us if this was his leading.  The week that we sent our application in to the agency still seems unreal.  We sent in the paperwork and a few days later Drew got a call that he no longer had a job.  He had worked as a foreman in the concrete business for the same company for 17 years.  Our application was not accepted due to the job loss, we had to put a hold on our plans for international adoption.

We continued to pray about adopting and the thought burned in my heart all the time.  The next couple of years were tough ones for our family.  Our teenage son brought us through some difficult days with the choices he was making.  The good that came out of that was how much we learned as parents.  His teen years actually highlighted many things in our parenting that could use improvement.  Our 3 younger children have definitely benefited from the support group we attended during those long years.  I also believed that the training we got during that time was good preparation for bringing adopted children into our lives.  We had some things happen with our younger boys that had us on our knees as well.  It just felt like we could barely catch our breath and something else was happening.  Through it all Drew and I were there for each other and clung to Jesus like never before.  I have never felt such an intense battle going on around me.  It was also during some of the worst of this time that my Mom's illness took a turn and she died suddenly.   God knew all the things that we would be going through and spared us from bringing a child into the middle of our chaos.  It would have been very difficult for any child to come into this and understand that it had nothing to do with them.  Obviously, the time was now for us to focus on our family and on helping our children deal with grief as well as walk that unknown path myself.

Time went on and I realized that things were calm around our home again.  The kids were growing, Chris was on his own and we were not getting any younger.  Drew had been working but not making nearly the money he had been making, so International adoption was out of the question.  My heart still yearned for the orphan.   Every time I read a verse about orphans I prayed that God would show us a way to bring one (or more) into our home.  Drew and I decided we were at a better place and should pursue adoption again.  MN Waiting kids seemed like a great place to start once we realized how many kids right here in Minnesota need good homes.  We applied with an agency and started jumping through all the hoops that need to happen before bringing a child into your home.  Drew missed days of work for training and we were assigned a social worker.  She was wonderful and we spent lots of time with her.  Our children also had a social worker assigned to them to see if they were on board with our adoption plans.  They all were but all 3 of the younger ones just wanted to make sure the child wasn't too noisy - we laughed pretty hard about that because they are pretty noisy themselves.  We spent money on back ground checks and fingerprinting.   We made sure our house was up to code and checked off everything that was required of us.  Then we waited... and waited.  We got several calls but never second calls.  Life was going along quite fast and we just knew it was all in God's timing so we were not worried.   We even had a bunch of our closest friends and family come over for a support meeting and a chance for our social worker to see the awesome people we have surrounding us.  During all of this we prayed constantly that God would use our home to be a place of refuge and a place of healing.  We prayed that he would close any doors that would not be the best for our family.  We prayed for the children that we hadn't yet met but who we couldn't wait to love.  We prayed for protection for our children as well as any child coming into our home.  We prayed that we could be the best parents, ready to meet any challenge.

After almost 3 years of classes, preparing and waiting, it was once again time to renew our fingerprints and back ground study.     This costs money so we were wondering how many more times we would have to do this.  One day we received a call that our social worker had been laid off, as well as 12 other social workers.  We were shocked - not only because we really had grown to care for her but because she had been there 20 years.    Our new social worker called and said she wanted to meet with us and since our paper work was 3 years old, she thought it would be best to start over with the paper work.  I felt so discouraged because it is so much work to fill out all those papers.  I told her I would call her back after I talked it over with Drew.  The next day my older brother called and asked if he could live with us for a while.  We had 2 empty bedrooms so we invited him to stay as long as he needed.  A few days later, Drew's brother's daughter called.  She was in college and her housing fell through so she needed a place to stay.  The basement room by my daughter's was available and so she moved in.  Suddenly our house was full and we had 2 adults living here that we would need to get background checks on.  It all felt a little crazy.  As Drew and I were discussing what to say to our new social worker when we called her back we both had to laugh.  We had prayed that God would close doors - and it appeared he was slamming them shut all around us.  We had also prayed that our house would be a place of refuge and healing - which it has been in both cases but that would be a whole separate blog.  It was obvious to us that God was still in control even if we couldn't understand the outcome.

People would ask us, "So what is happening on the adoption front?"  Our reply is "We have adopted a 50 year old and a 20 year old."  Not exactly what they are expecting to hear but that is who has found refuge in our home and we love them both.

Onward Christian Soldiers

With Veteran's Day just around the corner, I have been thinking about those who daily serve our country.  It seems a thankless job and yet where would we be without the men and women who have given up their freedom, so that we can have ours.  My Dad served in the Korean War as well as Viet Nam.   Growing up in a military family you expect to move around a lot.  In many ways my Mom was the true hero.  Each time we moved, she was the one making a new home for us while my Dad was away at war.  I was only 6 years old when my Dad decided to retire after 21 years in the Air Force.  I'm sure part of the decision was made because our family had 4 kids in school and my parents wanted to plant themselves for a while so we could have stability.  I was young enough that I have limited memories of the adventures of living in the Philippines and Florida.  My memories are tainted by my brothers perceptions of how things happened, they have always been good at telling a story, the problem is I don't know where the truth starts or ends.

Now I have a niece, Joye, that has followed that career military path that her Grandfather took.  She has had to move her family to Germany recently.  Her husband and 2 young boys are away from Grandparents and all things familiar while their Mom serves our country.  She has since been deployed to Kuwait, while her family holds down the fort in Germany.  She has missed big events, like the birth of her new little niece.  This is the life she signed up for, all so we can be free as a country.  It doesn't seem fair that people like her give up everything.  She can't just easily leave if she doesn't like it - her life is not her own.  Thank you to all of you who miss weddings, births, funerals, parties, graduations... all the things I take for granted.  Thank you that you believe in this country and in our freedom enough to risk your life for it.

I was reading my Bible recently and came upon the verse in 2 Timothy 2:4 "...as Christ's soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the one who enlisted you in his army".  I remember singing songs as a child like "Onward Christian Soldiers" or "I'm in the Lord's Army".  As a committed Christian, I say my life is surrendered, that my life is not my own.  This verse challenges me.  My niece had no choice once she signed up for the Army, her life was not her own.  I envy her dedication and her courage.  I claim to be Christ's soldier and yet I cling to my rights and my "things".  I'm no different than most people in justifying my choices or giving excuses to stay in my comfortable life.  I should have the same willingness to serve my God as so many men and women do to serve our country.  Many of them are serving our country as a service that God has called them to.  God bless them.

Jumping Out of the Box

This past year our family made a huge leap of faith and canceled our health insurance.  Before you jump to the conclusion that we have been very foolish, let me explain.

I have been raised in a family that fortunately has always had a good health care plan.  I don't remember ever having to think about it growing up.  I was current on all my vaccinations, went to the doctor when needed, visited the dentist twice a year, wore braces for 2 years, all without a thought or care of who covered the costs involved.  Right out of college I got a job with National Car Rental.  I had wonderful benefits, this being in the mid-80's there was basically 100% coverage and no deductible.  I remember feeling a little put off when I had to start paying a $10 copay each time I visited the doctor's office.  When Chris was born, all my medical expenses were covered in full.  The biggest decision I had to make was which plan to go with since there were 3 or 4 options to choose from.  Twenty-five years ago I started going to our neighborhood clinic where all 4 of my children have received their health care needs.  I know the people there and it feels comfortable.

  When Kyle was born I made the decision to quit my job of 12 years and be a stay home Mom.  The hardest part of that decision for Drew and I was losing the benefits of my health insurance.  Even though it was a leap of faith, we did have cobra coverage for the first 18 months (although at a much higher rate).  When our 18 months was just coming to an end, Drew's employer started offering health insurance for the first time in 50 years.  We were so excited!  The excitement soon ended when we realized that the insurances this small company could offer were nothing compared to what I had from a large national company.  We struggled along for a while and finally started looking independently.  We found a very competitive insurance through a friend of ours.  Insurance options had changed over the years and we chose a plan that had a high deductible but would still cover us for anything big.  We rarely went to the doctor so this was a good fit for our growing family.  The monthly fee was relatively low and we were able to stay with our same clinic and hospital that we had always had.

Life went on and we really didn't think much of our insurance, it was just another bill to pay each month.  The first few years the rates did not change much but then we started seeing a trend of large increases every spring.  This past spring our insurance again jumped and we realized it was almost twice what it had been when we originally signed up years ago.  This wasn't because we overused it, we hardly used it at all.  It was just a sign of our times of ever increasing insurance fees.  I know most of you have experienced this same thing.  If you haven't, count yourself blessed.  I'm not very political and I know health care issues are a huge source of debate.  What I do know is that something needed to change in our house in order for us to meet the needs of our family.  I didn't trust someone in Washington DC to make a change for us - they don't even know us.

A year earlier I had heard from a friend about a Christian Health Sharing program called Samaritan Ministries International.  The idea is that the members bear one anothers health care burdens by praying, encouraging and sharing the cost of needs.  I remember being very intrigued by the idea but thinking it was too radical, mostly because all I knew was my comfortable HMO.   I read through all the literature and testimonials but lacked the faith to go for it.  Drew and I just went on paying our ever increasing health premium because that seemed safer.

This past spring as we were planning our upcoming trip to Africa, trying to find ways to cut costs in our expenses, I was reminded of SMI.  I dug out the information and started praying for direction.  Finally it just became obvious we needed to jump in with both feet when our insurance premium jumped up another $100/month.  I'm so thankful we got the kick in the pants to go for it.  What a pleasant surprise it has been.  SMI is based on the Biblical principles of believers in Jesus Christ meeting the needs of other believers by sharing their burdens.  I'm simplifying it but if you want all the details please go to their website and learn more. (www.samaritanministries.org).  Each month we receive a newsletter with a prayer directory of members with a need.  There are about 18,000 members at this time.  Each member is assigned a family to "share" their need - our family gives $320 a month towards another family's need.  This is half of what our premium was on our HMO.  Along with our share, we send a card and lift up a prayer for whatever need is posted.  There are lots of new babies coming so many times it's just a praise and prayer for a healthy delivery.    The newletter also gives ideas on cutting costs if you have an upcoming surgery or other alternative medicines that may be helpful in different circumstances.  SMI does not tell you what to do, they trust that you will make the wisest decision and be good stewards with the money God has provided.  The process to join is pretty thorough too, so I feel confident that it's a safe alternative.  I have been so impressed with the whole process and wish that more people knew of this.  I know there are other similar ministries out there that are good, I can only speak from my experience with SMI.

Last month, Levi fell on a garden stake and cut his neck open.  We rushed to Mercy Hospital, into their critical care unit without a thought of how it would be covered.  The care we got there was amazing and it all worked out well.  After the cat scan showed that the stake missed Levi's trachea by only 1/4 inch, all they had to do was sew it up.  I asked for a discount since we would be paying in cash and found that it was quite a large discount.  When a need is posted, SMI asks that you pay the first $300 and the members will share the rest of the fees.  Since I did the calling and asking for the cash discount, they took our $300 off of the discount.  The original bill just for the emergency room was over $1800 but after the discount we only owed $777!  The other bills also gave discounts, mostly about 15%.  What a blessing to not have to pay any of this and have people praying for us.

One of the things that has struck me over the months that we have had SMI is how stuck I am in my old way of doing things.  I've "always" gone to the same clinic and it had never occurred to go elsewhere.  I feel like I have so much freedom now with SMI but I'm trapped only by my  old way of thinking.  Kind of like an animal that has always lived in a fenced in area, one day the fence comes down and the animal doesn't even notice but continues living the same as always.  I encourage you to think outside the box when it comes to your families health care needs and check out the SMI website for more information.  Another cool thing about SMI is that we are no longer funding "choice" problems:  health problems caused by drugs, alcohol, smoking and SMI does not fund abortions or other things that are contrary to our beliefs.  I'm thankful to be partnered with a program that honors all life and strives to give glory to God!  

Still Obsessing over the Tumbu Fly

I thought about posting a video from Youtube about these flies that lay their eggs on laundry.  The videos show what happens when the larvae burrow into your skin... honestly, I wasn't able to finish watching any of them.  Just the little bit I saw haunts me.  The interesting thing is, millions of people live around the tumbu fly everyday of their life and it's no big deal.   I understand that all you need to do is iron your clothes to kill these eggs yet I still obsess.  Maybe it's because I've heard the electricity where we are going is unreliable, sometimes off for days or even weeks at a time.  Iron's require electricity.  We had the opportunity to hang out with Josh and Audra Cadd yesterday.  They are missionaries with Wycliffe Associates on furlough from Kenya, Africa.  As I was talking to Josh and Audra I told them my fear of this larvae getting under my skin.  Josh calmly said, "You just squeeze it out."   Just like a zit, the worm is out and life goes on.  (Anyone else besides me squirming?)  He really had a point, that is just a little thing and you need to deal with it and move on.

  Drew and I celebrated our 18th anniversary  yesterday.   Honestly, over the years there have been things Drew has done that have "gotten under my skin".  To be fair, there have been things that I have done to "get under his skin".   If I obsessed,or when I have obsessed over these little things, it has put a strain in our relationship.  It's when we "squeeze it out" that we are able to move on to the more important things in life.  I think this is true in any relationship.   When we dwell on little things pretty soon it destroys the unity and becomes a festering wound in our relationship.   One of the ways we have kept our marriage strong is by being quick to forgive.  We know that we are not each others enemies and so we believe the best in each other.  When I notice that I am obsessing about all the things that are "bugging" me about Drew, I instead shift my thoughts to all the things I am thankful for... and the list is long!

Colossians 3: 12-14
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

As we look forward to our time in Africa, I know we will make some amazing relationships with the people we meet.  I'm not going to let a pesky little fly get in the way.

Top 10 Fears

The scriptures tell us over and over to "Fear Not", but the reality is we all have fears if we are honest.  Recently our Pastor Doug asked if our family would be willing to share our fears during his series on "Living Courageously".  Our first reaction was that we don't feel courageous and we  don't have very many fears.  Our trip to Africa just seems like a big adventure.  Trusting that Pastor Doug must have a reason for wanting us to share our story we decided to have a brainstorming session on what we might fear.  It was so good for us to do this because it made us realize we do have fears.  I don't believe God wants us to shove our fears down and pretend like they don't exist but to acknowledge fear and give it to Jesus.  I Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Pastor Doug's series on "Living Courageously" can be found in full by following the link below to Evergreen Community Church New Hope and check out their media section.  The day we shared he was talking about doing something CRAZY for God.  We definitely fit the "crazy" category.

 Here is a list of our families top 10 fears and who shared that fear.

10.  Levi is fearful of having an injury while in Cameroon and having to visit an emergency room.  With his track record of injuries this is a very real fear.  Please pray for protection for him and our whole team.

9.  Levi also has a fear that our plane will crash.  The kids have never been on an airplane so they feel a little anxious about this.  However, Levi did say that he would prefer the plane crash to going to an emergency room.  His reasoning is that if he dies he'll be ushered into the presence of Jesus and if he's in an emergency room it could be scary.

8.  Ellie is worried about being away from her friends for so long.

7.  Ellie is afraid of the unknown - not knowing what it will be like to be in another country, what kind of toilets we might have to use... and all the other stuff she doesn't know.

6.  Kyle has no fear but will miss playing piano every day  because this is how he worships.

5.  I (Marie) have practical fears:  Once the team leaves we will no longer be taken care of  with meals and laundry.  I believe I will have to prepare all of our meals and the food will be different then what we have here.  The laundry will need to be line dried, which wouldn't be that big of a deal.  Unfortunately, Tracey Hagman told me that in Africa there are moths or something that lay their eggs on laundry.  Body heat warms the eggs and the larvae burrow under your skin.  When we went to Kenya it was only 2 weeks so I made sure to have enough underwear for the whole time.  I think it is unrealistic to bring each of us 73 pairs of underwear... so I guess I will have undies hanging all over our bathroom.

4.  I do fear that I will get all caught up in doing this for the sake of the "purpose" rather than going on this trip because God is leading us.  I don't want to miss anything that He is trying to show me because I have my eyes on the wrong things.

3.  I fear that God might call us to go somewhere more permanently... and we would have to go because what I really fear is NOT obeying God.

2.  Drew fears that he will be asked to do something way beyond his skills or knowledge and that he will not meet their expectations.

1.  Our main fear for both Drew and I is that when we return from this amazing trip our old life will no longer make sense.  That we will be completely discontent with the way things are.  Really we want to be changed, but what does that look like?
  
We are just an ordinary family that is following an extraordinary and amazing God.... to the ends of the Earth if He asks us.  Our story is really about Him and how he can use anyone if we open our eyes to what He is doing.

This prayer is from 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12a:  "We keep on praying that our God will make us worthy of the life to which He called us.  We pray that God, by His power, will fulfill all our good intentions and faithful deeds.  Then everyone will give honor to the name of our Lord Jesus because of us"

http://www.evergreennewhope.com/media/audio_messages

Thoughts on Parenting

I had this epiphany the other day: So much of who I am is wrapped up in being a Mom, which in my case is homeschooling and raising my kids. I can hardly think of myself outside of those terms. I'm sure this is why I can start feeling anxious when I think time is going by at warp speed and I realize I can't slow it down. We really only have a handful of years left with our kids at home. Have I done enough to help them prepare for life? What will I do when they are all gone? Then it hit me, my overall purpose will not change. My purpose all along has been to live my life to give God glory and to be faithful with the job he has given me. For the past 23 years, my full time job has been being Mom to my 4 kids. My job will change but I'm confident that God will make my new job just as clear. Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Being a Mom has definitely been the most fulfilling thing I have done... and also the most challenging. It seems my failures have taught me far more than actually getting it right the first time. When Drew and I married, I was a single Mom with a 5 year old son (Chris). Being a young Mom I really did strive to do my best, but looking back I could have done so much better for him. Hind sight is 20/20 and the reality is, I did the best with what I knew. Good thing Chris is blessed with a great sense of humor because we often refer to him as our "experimental child". The poor first born, what they have to put up with.

Not long ago, I dropped by the worksite where I was suppose to meet Drew. He was not there but I chatted with the homeowner for a few minutes. She told me there were just 2 men there and I realized one of them was Chris. I told her that Chris was my son. She looked at me with this huge smile and said "He's your son? What a nice young man he is!" That warmed this Mom's heart! We have had some long hard years with him and it's so encouraging to be seeing the other side of those hard times.

Drew and I have had the advantage of having 8 years between our eldest and the next child. We've been able to look at what we wished we would have done better and what we think we did right. We also realized we better get it right because our last 3 are all just 3 years and 3 months apart. I don't dwell too much on my failures - I really see them as opportunities for me to change.

Here are some lessons we have learned:

1. Make the most of the time I have with my kids - it does go by fast!

2. Live according to our own convictions - not what other people think is best.

3. Surround ourselves with like minded families.

4. Treat my kids the way I want to be treated.

5. See them each as unique individuals - enjoy how God created them.

6. When I hurt them or fail, be quick to ask forgiveness and get our relationship right!

7. Let natural consequences teach them - resist the urge to bail them out before the lesson is learned.

8. Pray with them and for them.

9. Be united as a team (Drew and I).

10. Show them in the way we live that God really is our Everything!

Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom." I realize I still have much to learn and I'm thankful to have the opportunity to raise these kids to make a difference in this world. As they are all becoming young people, capable of doing so much, it's easy to think that my job is done. I don't want to prematurely let go of the wheel. I want to finish strong this job marked out for me. I realize we're shifting to more of a coaching role so I guess I better brush up on my coaching skills.