Thoughts on Parenting

I had this epiphany the other day: So much of who I am is wrapped up in being a Mom, which in my case is homeschooling and raising my kids. I can hardly think of myself outside of those terms. I'm sure this is why I can start feeling anxious when I think time is going by at warp speed and I realize I can't slow it down. We really only have a handful of years left with our kids at home. Have I done enough to help them prepare for life? What will I do when they are all gone? Then it hit me, my overall purpose will not change. My purpose all along has been to live my life to give God glory and to be faithful with the job he has given me. For the past 23 years, my full time job has been being Mom to my 4 kids. My job will change but I'm confident that God will make my new job just as clear. Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Being a Mom has definitely been the most fulfilling thing I have done... and also the most challenging. It seems my failures have taught me far more than actually getting it right the first time. When Drew and I married, I was a single Mom with a 5 year old son (Chris). Being a young Mom I really did strive to do my best, but looking back I could have done so much better for him. Hind sight is 20/20 and the reality is, I did the best with what I knew. Good thing Chris is blessed with a great sense of humor because we often refer to him as our "experimental child". The poor first born, what they have to put up with.

Not long ago, I dropped by the worksite where I was suppose to meet Drew. He was not there but I chatted with the homeowner for a few minutes. She told me there were just 2 men there and I realized one of them was Chris. I told her that Chris was my son. She looked at me with this huge smile and said "He's your son? What a nice young man he is!" That warmed this Mom's heart! We have had some long hard years with him and it's so encouraging to be seeing the other side of those hard times.

Drew and I have had the advantage of having 8 years between our eldest and the next child. We've been able to look at what we wished we would have done better and what we think we did right. We also realized we better get it right because our last 3 are all just 3 years and 3 months apart. I don't dwell too much on my failures - I really see them as opportunities for me to change.

Here are some lessons we have learned:

1. Make the most of the time I have with my kids - it does go by fast!

2. Live according to our own convictions - not what other people think is best.

3. Surround ourselves with like minded families.

4. Treat my kids the way I want to be treated.

5. See them each as unique individuals - enjoy how God created them.

6. When I hurt them or fail, be quick to ask forgiveness and get our relationship right!

7. Let natural consequences teach them - resist the urge to bail them out before the lesson is learned.

8. Pray with them and for them.

9. Be united as a team (Drew and I).

10. Show them in the way we live that God really is our Everything!

Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom." I realize I still have much to learn and I'm thankful to have the opportunity to raise these kids to make a difference in this world. As they are all becoming young people, capable of doing so much, it's easy to think that my job is done. I don't want to prematurely let go of the wheel. I want to finish strong this job marked out for me. I realize we're shifting to more of a coaching role so I guess I better brush up on my coaching skills.