Unmet Expectations

Yesterday was a long day and I feel into bed exhausted. Today will be more of the same: there are more linens to wash and I need to find some order to my new home. I'm trying not to be discouraged but I'm not really succeeding. This is our 4th place to stay since leaving our house in MN 2 weeks ago - each place has gotten progressively worse.

I talked to Ancela this morning (she was one of our cooks last week), she told me that her truck was stolen. Her kids use this truck to get water and now they have to carry it on their heads. The pump that brings water to their home is turned on only once a week - at which time they fill every container they have to use throughout the week. It did put my problems in perspective though after talking with her. This home (and the teams home) has a couple of large barrels that fill up when the pump is one, so we have never had to go without water (yet). We have water whenever we turn on the sinks but we also have leaks whenever we turn on the sinks. Drew plans to look at the problem tonight but it is hard to find parts - you can't just run to Home Depot. The person who "fixed" the leaks before used a plastic bag and some scotch tape... now wonder it didn't work. There is a little Hardware shack that I have bought a number of items from, so we will try there first.

My friend Andrea (here with her family from Edmonton, Alberta in Canada for 1 month)and I were discussing this problem with our expectations this morning. It doesn't bother me much when the electricity goes off - we expect it to. At home, I would never put up with my electricity going off on a daily basis. Even here, I have an expectation (although unmet), that my sinks should drain without leaking and my toilet should flush, yet the people living right next to me do not have that same expectation. For me, I should lower those expectations if I am to find any joy in this journey.

Some things that I am struggling with in this new home are: the ants, cock roaches, lack of storage space, the leaky EVERYTHING, the showers and toilets... but I know that with a little (or a lot) of work we can make this place feel like home. We can get some shelves built and fix the leaks to bless whoever moves in after us. Ellie already has made an effort to make her room work for her - she is busy taping verses up all over her walls. My favorite one is Matthew 6:33
"...and He will give you ALL you need from day to day if you live for HIM and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern."

Sounds good - I just need to adjust my thinking on what a NEED is.

40 days to Africa

I woke up this morning to the realization that we will be boarding our plane in just 40 days.  I'm sure there is some significance to this day.  I feel like I should "do" something for the next 40 days - exercise, fast, pray...something spiritual or good.  I thought about "40 days to lose my blubber", but I hear African people think it's good to be fat.  It might not be true but it sounds good to me.  I want Drew to get the most respect he can for his "healthy" wife so I will forgo the diet.  We could use 40 days of prayer, so feel free to pray for us.   We have so much going on during the next 40 days, I could just call it "40 days of Freaking Out".  Again, prayer would be good.

All kidding aside, 40 is a significant number in many ways.  I googled "40 days" and there were 159,000,000,000 sites to choose from, many of these were spiritual in nature.  For some reason, God used 40 days in many of the events that happened throughout the Bible.   Many of those events were tied to times of trial and testing.  Think of Noah, after obeying God and building the ark, it rained for 40 days.  I would guess that 40 days was not a time of rejoicing (even though his family was saved), but rather a time of adjusting and grieving the loss of the life they knew.  The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. This happened after their spies checked out Canaan (the land flowing with milk and honey) for 40 days and were too fearful to trust God.  Jesus was tested in the wilderness for 40 days at the beginning of his ministry.  Jesus appeared to people for 40 days after his resurrection, a time of great confusion to the early Christians.   There are many more examples but I think you get the idea.  40 days was a good amount of time to get people's attention...and 40 years would definitely get a point across.

Many people today celebrate the Advent season, which was originally 40 days.  Advent is the weeks leading up to Christmas that is a time of reflecting on the events leading up to the first Christmas.  It's a time of getting our eyes off of our selfish desires and focusing on others.   As a family we have followed different Advent reading plans over the years.  The time leading up to Christmas takes on a deeper meaning and gives us a greater appreciation for the significance of the birth of Jesus.  It wasn't just a random event but was foretold throughout the Old Testament.   We anticipate Christmas morning with excitement, not just on getting present, but the realization that WHO we live for was born on this day.  If it were not for the personal relationship I have with Jesus, I would have no desire to even go to Africa.

The season of Lent is the 40 days leading up to the death and resurrection of Christ.  Some use this time to  give up something or let go.  I like the idea of that as we are leading up to our trip.  I want to use these next 40 days to prepare my heart for all that God has in store for our family.  I also want to begin the process of "letting go".  Letting go of my rights, my possessions and my expectations.  This last week has been a time of struggle for me and I feel like I am in a battle.  I want to use this time to prepare for a continued battle, one where I am not in my familiar surroundings.

 Even though I know the battle will be happening, I am excited because I am not in this battle alone.  I also know that you can have joy in the middle of the hardest times.  I am looking forward with JOY to our time in Africa.  Starting today, I am choosing to have "40 days of Joy".

  

A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart

Two things came to my mind when I woke up this morning:  The first one is that we have only 6 weeks from today that we board a plane to Africa - that is going to go by so fast!  The second was the fact that it is Thanksgiving Day and that got me thinking of all that I am thankful for.  The obvious would be that I am thankful for my husband, my kids and my God, but truthfully I wake up most mornings feeling thankful for these vital parts of my life.

 I struggle some with having to be told that today is the day we have to be thankful.  It stresses me out to prepare for this day of thankfulness and now add to that the stores trying to pressure us to shop the day after Thanksgiving or even the day of.  Once I get over myself, and my family pitches in to get our home "company ready", I'm really thankful for the excuse to get together with my extended family.  Even though I talk to my sister frequently on the phone, we go weeks and weeks without seeing each other.  She doesn't live that far away and I used to see her every day when I watched her girls, but now the only way we see each other is by a special appointment.  So I'm thankful that today will bring us together.

Actually, since we already have extended family living with us, most of our evening meals are a joyful event around here.  We spend hours around our round kitchen table laughing and sharing life with each other.  Visitors are always welcome and at times we have crammed 9 - 11 people around our 6 person table.  The difference is, there is no stress to have an extra clean house or to have just the right food.  There is no expectations, which if I am totally honest, is my problem.  Expectations put so much pressure on everyone.  Unmet expectations make me crabby and are usually the source of contention with my husband and I.  So today I am consciously trying to prepare my heart as well as my table with as little stress as possible.  I will be delegating jobs to my family, I cooked the turkey overnight, I got up early and had time to read my Bible and reflect on all the blessings God has given me.

 I feel excited for the fun to begin, not because George Washington (or Lincoln or Roosevelt) decided today would be the day we give thanks, but because I really am thankful for the people I have in my life.  God Bless you and have a joyful Thanksgiving!

Psalm 92:1 - 2
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
to declare your steadfast love in the morning,
and your faithfulness by night."