Two things came to my mind when I woke up this morning: The first one is that we have only 6 weeks from today that we board a plane to Africa - that is going to go by so fast! The second was the fact that it is Thanksgiving Day and that got me thinking of all that I am thankful for. The obvious would be that I am thankful for my husband, my kids and my God, but truthfully I wake up most mornings feeling thankful for these vital parts of my life.
I struggle some with having to be told that today is the day we have to be thankful. It stresses me out to prepare for this day of thankfulness and now add to that the stores trying to pressure us to shop the day after Thanksgiving or even the day of. Once I get over myself, and my family pitches in to get our home "company ready", I'm really thankful for the excuse to get together with my extended family. Even though I talk to my sister frequently on the phone, we go weeks and weeks without seeing each other. She doesn't live that far away and I used to see her every day when I watched her girls, but now the only way we see each other is by a special appointment. So I'm thankful that today will bring us together.
Actually, since we already have extended family living with us, most of our evening meals are a joyful event around here. We spend hours around our round kitchen table laughing and sharing life with each other. Visitors are always welcome and at times we have crammed 9 - 11 people around our 6 person table. The difference is, there is no stress to have an extra clean house or to have just the right food. There is no expectations, which if I am totally honest, is my problem. Expectations put so much pressure on everyone. Unmet expectations make me crabby and are usually the source of contention with my husband and I. So today I am consciously trying to prepare my heart as well as my table with as little stress as possible. I will be delegating jobs to my family, I cooked the turkey overnight, I got up early and had time to read my Bible and reflect on all the blessings God has given me.
I feel excited for the fun to begin, not because George Washington (or Lincoln or Roosevelt) decided today would be the day we give thanks, but because I really am thankful for the people I have in my life. God Bless you and have a joyful Thanksgiving!
Psalm 92:1 - 2
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
to declare your steadfast love in the morning,
and your faithfulness by night."
African outfits
Our crazy family
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Missing Mom
With the holiday season coming up, I find myself thinking about my Mom more than normal. This will be our 5th holiday season since she died and it has never been the same. My Mom was definitely the glue that held our family together and I never appreciated enough how much work she put into every holiday to make it special. I try to keep up the traditions as much as possible but I fall short in so many ways.
As a kid I never gave Thanksgiving, or Christmas for that matter, a second thought. We would get together with my Grandparents and Aunts, Uncles and cousins. The food would be amazing - especially the desserts. We would play games or football if it were nice out. It just seemed so easy. I didn't realize the planning that happened before hand, all the time that everyone put into preparing the menu and the food. I was blissfully unaware if there was any kind of family conflict. I didn't know if any one person felt too much of the work was falling on their shoulders. I barely noticed who set everything out or how it got cleaned up, unless I was asked to help. I had no idea that someone put hours into cleaning and decorating before any guests (family) showed up. I just showed up, ate some great food and left the home of my Grandparents or went to my room if the festivities were at our house. Who knew that once everyone left the house had to be cleaned up again before the host could rest.
It wasn't until years later that I sensed from my Mom that she didn't necessarily enjoy all the work that went into pulling off a great holiday meal. In fact, thinking back, I can remember a few times that the turkey was really dry or something else went wrong with my Moms cooking. As a Mom now I can look back and realize that quite a bit of what we did was actually stressful on my Mom. Maybe it was the subtle or not so subtle way she said "Why do we even do this? Lets just go out to eat." I thought she was kidding but I'm starting to realize that she might not have been.
My Mom was from the 50's she was suppose to be able to whip up a meal and make it look easy. Even when her health started slowing her down and she asked me to host holidays, she still brought most of the food. The rest of us brought side dishes and desserts, you can't have too many sweets. Now that my Mom is no longer here, and my Dad leaves Minnesota long before the holidays start, it's my siblings families and mine carrying on tradition. I feel like I need to make the holiday meals just like my Mom did. Maybe it's because I admire my Mom so much that I want to be like her. Maybe it's just a small way to make me feel like she is still here with us. I want my house to be as spic and span as my Mom's house would be. I want it to have the same warm feeling and smells that remind me so much of my Mom. I want my guests to feel as welcome as my Mom always made people feel in her home. It can all feel a little overwhelming.
Thanksgiving is less than a week away and not much thought has gone into it, my family is very good about waiting until the last minute. My house is a mess. My brother that lives with us has big plans for his dessert he's making and probably has to special order some strange ingredient that goes into it. He is the gourmet cook, fun to try his creations but honestly we are just plain folk around here. I haven't talked to my other brother to see if they will be here or what time they can come. I'm not sure what my sister is bringing but she is a far better cook then I am. I'm not sure who else will make it that are in Minnesota but we'll set a plate for them if they come.
I know people say you make a new normal when a family member dies, but this "normal" feels so forced. I miss the way it used to be. Mom, I understand now why I found you crying in the kitchen after your parents had passed away. I tried to cheer you up by saying "What's the big deal, they're dancing in heaven?" I get it now why that made you so angry. You were not ready for a new normal without them any more then I am ready for my new normal. You did such a great job passing a new normal on to us kids. I hope that I am successful in passing this normal on to my kids so that they cherish their holiday memories.
Mom, I will think of you feasting at the banquet table in heaven this Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for and at the top of my list is having had a Mom who showed me how to serve and how to love. I miss you like crazy and look forward to that day when we will feast together in eternity.
As a kid I never gave Thanksgiving, or Christmas for that matter, a second thought. We would get together with my Grandparents and Aunts, Uncles and cousins. The food would be amazing - especially the desserts. We would play games or football if it were nice out. It just seemed so easy. I didn't realize the planning that happened before hand, all the time that everyone put into preparing the menu and the food. I was blissfully unaware if there was any kind of family conflict. I didn't know if any one person felt too much of the work was falling on their shoulders. I barely noticed who set everything out or how it got cleaned up, unless I was asked to help. I had no idea that someone put hours into cleaning and decorating before any guests (family) showed up. I just showed up, ate some great food and left the home of my Grandparents or went to my room if the festivities were at our house. Who knew that once everyone left the house had to be cleaned up again before the host could rest.
It wasn't until years later that I sensed from my Mom that she didn't necessarily enjoy all the work that went into pulling off a great holiday meal. In fact, thinking back, I can remember a few times that the turkey was really dry or something else went wrong with my Moms cooking. As a Mom now I can look back and realize that quite a bit of what we did was actually stressful on my Mom. Maybe it was the subtle or not so subtle way she said "Why do we even do this? Lets just go out to eat." I thought she was kidding but I'm starting to realize that she might not have been.
My Mom was from the 50's she was suppose to be able to whip up a meal and make it look easy. Even when her health started slowing her down and she asked me to host holidays, she still brought most of the food. The rest of us brought side dishes and desserts, you can't have too many sweets. Now that my Mom is no longer here, and my Dad leaves Minnesota long before the holidays start, it's my siblings families and mine carrying on tradition. I feel like I need to make the holiday meals just like my Mom did. Maybe it's because I admire my Mom so much that I want to be like her. Maybe it's just a small way to make me feel like she is still here with us. I want my house to be as spic and span as my Mom's house would be. I want it to have the same warm feeling and smells that remind me so much of my Mom. I want my guests to feel as welcome as my Mom always made people feel in her home. It can all feel a little overwhelming.
Thanksgiving is less than a week away and not much thought has gone into it, my family is very good about waiting until the last minute. My house is a mess. My brother that lives with us has big plans for his dessert he's making and probably has to special order some strange ingredient that goes into it. He is the gourmet cook, fun to try his creations but honestly we are just plain folk around here. I haven't talked to my other brother to see if they will be here or what time they can come. I'm not sure what my sister is bringing but she is a far better cook then I am. I'm not sure who else will make it that are in Minnesota but we'll set a plate for them if they come.
I know people say you make a new normal when a family member dies, but this "normal" feels so forced. I miss the way it used to be. Mom, I understand now why I found you crying in the kitchen after your parents had passed away. I tried to cheer you up by saying "What's the big deal, they're dancing in heaven?" I get it now why that made you so angry. You were not ready for a new normal without them any more then I am ready for my new normal. You did such a great job passing a new normal on to us kids. I hope that I am successful in passing this normal on to my kids so that they cherish their holiday memories.
Mom, I will think of you feasting at the banquet table in heaven this Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for and at the top of my list is having had a Mom who showed me how to serve and how to love. I miss you like crazy and look forward to that day when we will feast together in eternity.
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